I wanted to be a Charlies Angel My First Blog

Without meaning to sound like a reality TV contestant, it seems appropriate that I have chosen today to start my ‘journey’. Today is Winters Solstice, a druid time for self-reflection and the celebration of light. On this shortest day of the year, we start to recharge our batteries in preparation for the new year ahead. In keeping with tradition, I should be writing this by lantern, but frankly my middle-aged eyes can’t cope with that.

Today, I’m starting a blog…. a website…. a portal ☺ Who knows what it will end up as.

2017 is a landmark year for me. I turn 50. Just uttering those words brings up a multitude of different thoughts, ‘horror’ being a front runner ☺. It’s the adage of ‘where the hell has the time gone?’ Last time I looked I was in a burgundy school uniform, matching duffle coat and de rigour polyveldt shoes. I dreamt of a life outside of the small Midlands town where I was born.

I wanted to mark the entry to midlife mayhem in some way. Well I say midlife, but let’s be honest, with a penchant for champagne, Jack Daniels and saturated fat I think I’m well into the season, don’t you?!

I have decided that next year will be full of adventure. I want to try and make sense of the world I’m living in and who I have become. This is a selfish project because fundamentally it is all for me. If it brings amusement or enjoyment to anyone else who wants to read it, then that’s marvellous. I’m not equipped to become any kind of ‘self-help’ guru, I can just about manage to help myself and that doesn’t always go to plan.

I want to know what happened to the dreams of the little girl in Nuneaton who used to play piano, be in a marching band, love Shakespeare, obsess about Leif Garrett, know all the words to Abba, wanted to travel to Battersea Dogs Home in a horse and carriage (thankfully Jim DIDN’T fix it for me), love the Wombles but most importantly want to be a Charlies Angel.

The glitter and glamour of being in that pistol wielding trio is as attractive to me now as it ever was. How did she get such bouncy hair after wearing a crash helmet?

I bought into a glittery world where anything is possible as a young girl, made so by TV, films, literature, teachers, love…. I am lucky, the list was endless. As I have gotten older I seem to have forgotten the buzz, and the never-ending curiosity and quest for challenges seems to have left me. I feel like a bystander in my life. What happened to ‘carpe diem’, harnessing and enjoying the talents nurtured as a child. Well, I believed a world full of sparkle existed and next year, I’m going to try and see how much of a reality I made of it.